Welcome To My Life...

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud 
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you 
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

The song just hit straight into me... DEFINITELY the feelings and emotions I'm feeling are poured into the song.

 These days, I'm confused... really. I am now in the 4th year of my college life. And these things are things bothering me again. I just thought I can overcome this... but no way! They are even not getting better this time they are getting worst, more than i could ever imagine. I had this feeling that

I'm typically the girl who doesn't share much of her personal life to everybody but to someone i feel like I'm comfortable to talk with. Whenever I feel like I can't handle my feelings anymore, I burst out into tears soaking my pillow and call Jesus. It's great knowing He is just a call away. I don't need cellphone and load to call him, I don't have to tell Him where we have to meet but it's just instant like a blink of an eye, all of a sudden I felt relieved and knowing I'm on His shoulder crying.


I can say that I am a talented and interesting girl. Been drawing since five y.o. Had interest with sports, been dancing, writing songs, playing the guitar, photography as a hobby, been writing, and creative in many ways. Since I know a little about the world I'm living... I've been curious of what is out there beyond my borders. I'm talking about the other side of the world. Who is there? What was there? How does it feels like to be there! And so I was fascinated by the world out there. I wanted to go there! I wanna know what's there!

Living life here was never really easy, it never was and so I guess living in the other world. But I see a lot of opportunities of me out there. They value talent rather than beauty. They consider fearless ideas rather than being cowardly traditional. I felt like I was deprived of showing what I got... I know I got, if they only knew. I get a bit frustrated knowing I will never have the chance... a bit impatient waiting for years still nothing happens. But those years of waiting, pondering what I really want to do gave me faith to hold on.  I know I can. I just still need to go through tough roads, if I got the chance I will never let it pass me by.